What is distracting in a relationship?
Distraction is an intense focus on and antagonism to the legitimacy of the actions, feelings, and beliefs of others, particularly the partner, and an intense misdirection of attention away from the actions of the primary aggressor. If asked to focus on himself and his actions, he will seemingly be unable to do so.
One of the most common examples of distraction iswhen someone changes the subject in the middle of an argument. Specifically, when their behavior is questioned, the deflector redirects the conversation to focus on something the other person did wrong.
Turntypically occurs in conflict situations when a person is confronted with their mistakes. Instead of taking responsibility and facing the uncomfortable situation head-on, the distractor will try to take the focus away from themselves, usually by blaming someone or something else.
How do you deal with distraction? The best way to deal with distraction is tocommunicate how you feel by having a conversation. Point out that you feel that the person is blaming their fault on you and that this is not appreciated.
distraction happenswhen we divert focus, blame, or criticism away from ourselves in order to preserve our self-image and avoid negative consequences. It can be used as a reactive coping mechanism to avoid feelings of guilt and shame, or as a narcissistic abuse tactic to avoid accountability.
Psychological distraction is somewhat similar to finger pointing andit is a narcissistic abuse tacticthis is often used by narcissists, but more commonly by covert narcissists, to draw attention away from them for their bad behavior and then redirect it to other people who can use them as scapegoats.
- Use "I" statements. If your partner is distracting, they're already on the defensive, so avoid making accusations. ...
- Agree on a topic. Often people who are distracting try to change the subject to shift attention or blame. ...
- Say how you feel. ...
- Get outside help.
One of the ways to respond when they're distracting is tofocus on the facts. Remember that your partner will use their emotions, so they may not want to argue with you. Another way to respond is to consciously take responsibility. If you do, they may not be able to project their feelings onto you.
They reverse history to make it seem like you are to blame and divert attention and blame away from them to make you feel guilty.This type of emotional manipulation is called gaslighting.
„Distraction is another gaslighting technique' says Emma. “So if a victim starts talking about something [the abuser] did, they will distract and start talking about something the victim did.